Sunday, April 2, 2017

Birthdays & Black Holes:


Today our son Sam would have been 12.  When I originally sat down to write this blog I had plans to make it cheerful or at least upbeat—really.  After all, a birthday should be a celebration of life.  But the truth is…that’s really not where my heart is right now.  
The struggle between how you’d like to think and feel—in contrast to the reality of how you think and feel having lost a child so young—is palpable.  Bereaved parents don’t want to be “Debbie Downers”; we don’t like feeling sad; but sometimes that’s just our own personal reality.  The “new normal” as they say.
Don’t get me wrong.  There is a lot to be thankful for and, perhaps even more so than others, bereaved parents are indeed thankful for what we still have—our other children, our spouses, our family, our friends, a very supportive community, an opportunity to do good and make a difference—the list is quite long.  
Yet, there remains a hole in our hearts—a hole in our lives—that is not so easy to fill.  
Though there are no perfect analogies, I sometimes liken the loss of Sam to a black hole.  A black hole is so powerful that nothing—no light, no particles—can escape from inside it. And as you draw nearer to a black hole you at some point cross the Rubicon.  I’ll just quote Wikipedia verbatim: “The boundary of the region from which no escape is possible is called the event horizon.  Although the event horizon has an enormous effect on the fate and circumstances of an object crossing it, no locally detectable features appear to be observed.”   Yep.  I can relate to that.
There’s no accounting for when the black hole might start to suck you in.  But if and when you approach it, its effects can be devastating.  As it tries to pull you in, you start to feel like you’re suffocating.  You dread being lost forever in its dark recesses and vast nothingness.  
And so you often try to avoid the hole entirely.  You occupy your days with work and your nights with activities.  You keep your mind busy with “stuff” or “things”.  
But in the dim recesses of your mind you know that by avoiding your pain and suffering—by avoiding the Black Hole—you’re unwittingly avoiding your child.  You’re avoiding his memory, his life and his love.  And so you’re continually drawn to the event horizon.  
You cherish happy memories. You celebrate birthdays and holidays and recall happy thoughts of bygone days.  You cling to his old toys and clothes, flip through photographs, and say a little prayer at night asking for a dream with your child in it.  You feel that he’s in that hole and you want to go in there and get him, save him, pull him out and bring him back—to be with you again forever and ever.  
Thus, the life—the event horizon—of a bereaved parent can be exhausting.  Our lives look normal—“no locally detectable features appear to be observed”—yet they are really anything but normal.  Though bereaved parents are not so unique from anyone else who has lost a loved one—we do not have a monopoly on pain and suffering—the loss of a child does seem to suck just a little more life out of you.  Just like I could never imagine what it must have been like to sit in a foxhole in Vietnam or Korea or Iraq and watch my comrades lose their lives and fear for my own, because I myself did not walk in those shoes, we humans all have our own unique pain and suffering to sometimes deal with.
At the end of the day perhaps all we can do is fill our holes with love.  Maybe the pain we feel is only so great because the love for whom we lost was so immense.  Perhaps we suffer only in direct proportion to the love we felt and shared.  And so today we celebrate the memory of a little boy whose happiness, zest for life, hunger for learning and love of others inspires us to this day.  Happy Birthday Sammy.  We miss and love you very much.



29 comments:

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    1. Hello viewer’s
      I don’t have much to say there are so may scammers going on online so we cant detect the real herbal medicine doctors. Thank GOD for leading me, please don’t ignore this post is real Dr Emmanuel, is a real herbal Doctor, he cured me from Brain tumor, i am living so happy and free , i was fully recovered within 4 weeks of usage of dr Emmanuel herbal medicine ,please viewers out there that have any deadly disease don't fail to contact him via his email; traditionalherbalhealingcentre@gmail.com or WhatsApp/Call: +2348140033827 thanks once again to dr Emmanuel GOD bless you abundantly

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    2. Hello viewer’s
      I don’t have much to say there are so may scammers going on online so we cant detect the real herbal medicine doctors. Thank GOD for leading me, please don’t ignore this post is real Dr Emmanuel, is a real herbal Doctor, he cured me from Brain tumor, i am living so happy and free , i was fully recovered within 4 weeks of usage of dr Emmanuel herbal medicine ,please viewers out there that have any deadly disease don't fail to contact him via his email; traditionalherbalhealingcentre@gmail.com or WhatsApp/Call: +2348140033827 thanks once again to dr Emmanuel GOD bless you abundantly

      Delete
    3. Hi Friends i am so glad to writing this article today to tell the world how Dr Emmanuel cured my HSV VIRUS,i have been detected with HSV-1 AND HSV-2 since five years ago, ever since then my life has been in complete bizarre and agony,i have used so many drugs that was prescribed to me by several doctors,but it didn't cure my HSV VIRUS neither did it reduce the pain,until a certain i was checking for solution in the internet,then miraculously came across Dr Emmanuel the powerful herbalist that cure numerous individuals HSV-1 AND HSV-2 INFECTION,then i contacted his whatsApp number at +2348140073965 or email: nativehealthclinic@gmail.com i explained everything to him and prepared a cure that cure my HSV-1 AND HSV-2 disease totally after receiving his herbal medicine, so my friends viewers why wait and be suffer when there is someone like Dr Emmanuel that can cure any disease HIV/ CANCER/ HEPATITIS B VIRUS, you can contact his via : nativehealthclinic@gmail.com. or WHATSAPP +2348140073965 GOD BLESS YOU ALL?

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    4. I have been using this herbal cure remedy for 3 months now. So far, it has cured my HERPES, eliminated my COLD SORE, improved energy and metabolism, in the morning I feel recharged and I no longer feel sleepy after a meal. As for the scent, it does smell like motor oil but I chase it down with 100% Cranberry Juice 1tsp. twice a day AFTER a meal. I also experienced vivid dreams for about 5 days now it's diminishing to during the first 2 or 3 hours of sleep . contact dr Emmanuel: EMAIL: nativehealthclinic@gmail.com or call/whatsapp +2348140073965. you can get the cure from him and be free from all kinds of diseases. HIV/AIDS Diabtetes Cancer hepatitis 

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    5. I'm so exited to share my testimonies about the Good Work of Dr.Ehiaguna who get me cured from herpes simplex virus (HSV1&2) with his herbs, I never thought that I will live on earth before the year runs out. I have been suffering from herpes, I had spent a lot of money going from one Hospital to another looking for way to get rid of this disease, the hospital have been my home everyday residence. Constant checks up have been my hobby not until this faithful day, I was searchingthrough the internet, I saw a testimony on how Dr. Ehiaguna helped someone in curing his herpes disease using his healingHerbs, quickly I copied his email just to give him a try I spoke to him, he told me that he is going to provide the herbal cure to me, which hedid, after i receive his herbs and i take it as instructed i was cure permanently from herpes my herpes disease was gone. so I decided to share my testimony, that nothing is impossible with God, God use a man to healed me. No matter what you are passing through, no matter how deadly the sickness is and no matter what the situation is God that did mine is still going to do yours, people suffering from herpes, brain tumor, kidney disease, pcos, AIDS, ALS,copd, asthma, athritis,herpes, Cancer,Hpv, any kind of disease, you can reach him now via ? Gmail address: drehiaguna@gmail.com or whatsapp +2348073908953 and you will be the next to testify of his great work.

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    6. I Never believed i was ever going to be HSV FREE again, DR.Ehiaguna has given me reasons to be happy, i was HSV positive for 2 years and all the means and medicine i tried for treatment was not helpful to me, but when i came on the Internet i saw great testimony about DR.Ehiaguna on how he was able to cure someone from HSV 2, this person said great things about this man, and advice we contact him for any Disease problem that DR.Ehiaguna can be of help, well i decided to give him a try, he requested for my information which i sent to him, and he told me he was going to prepare for me a healing portion, which he wanted me to take for days, and after which i should go back to the hospital for check up, well after taking all the treatment sent to me by DR.Ehiahuna , i went back to the Hospital for check up, and now i have been confirmed HSV NEGATIVE, friends you can reach DR.Ehiaguna on any treatment of any Disease cos i saw many testimony of different disease like, HEPATITIS,HIV AIDS,EPILEPSY, CANCER,CFS he is the one only one i can show you all up to, reach him on drehiaguna@gmail.com or whatsApp him now +2348073908953. quick contact him for help and you can just quickly drop your number on your first mail as i did for easily conversation

      Delete
    7. Never give up in life they all say no cure to HSV 2 which is a big lie I have pass through many process also i never believe there is really cure to HERPES until I meet Dr.Ehiaguna the doctor that have been helping many people for many years, I come across this doctor online when I was searching for cure online I found out about this man, and to my greatest surprise this man have the herbal medicine which I have been looking for years I explain my problem to him through the email I found on someone who testify about him also, Dr.Ehiaguna write me a reply and explain how the process work so after ordering for the medicine I got it within 4 days and I took it according to the way Dr.Ehiaguna instructed, I was so happy after two week I took the medicine there was very big change in my health when I was done with the process I go for test, I found out I am negative that was the day I have the tears of joy you can also get in contact with my doctor through his email now drehiaguna@gmail.com or you can also WhatsApp him +2348073908953. And He also have herbs medicine to cured the following diseases; eczema,urethra wart,chronic problems.Herpes, Cancer, Als,Hepatitis, Diabetes, HPV,Infections,ulcer  ETC

      Delete
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  5. Hello viewer’s
    I don’t have much to say there are so may scammers going on online so we cant detect the real herbal medicine doctors. Thank GOD for leading me, please don’t ignore this post is real Dr Emmanuel, is a real herbal Doctor, he cured me from Brain tumor, i am living so happy and free , i was fully recovered within 4 weeks of usage of dr Emmanuel herbal medicine ,please viewers out there that have any deadly disease don't fail to contact him via his email; traditionalherbalhealingcentre@gmail.com or WhatsApp/Call: +2348140033827 thanks once again to dr Emmanuel GOD bless you abundantly

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you Dr.Ogudugu for the great work you did for me when my lover broke my heart. Dr.Ogudugu was able to bring my lover that left for about 2 months came back to me within 48 hours. Contact Dr.Ogudugu on greatogudugu@gmail.com or better still you can give Dr.Ogudugu a call on WhatsApp +27663492930 for a better understanding for what i just said about him..

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  9. My name is Jeffrey Larry. DR Odinani Owelle cast a spell for me per my request. I bought a lottery ticket the day you cast my spell. Guess What DR Odinani Owelle I hit 4 of 6 and won 4,00.000.00 pounds! Then I received a letter from the hospital stating that the $ 20,000.00 bill I owed was settled .I want you to know that, your lottery spell have make me to win millions of pounds and dollars.I won 700.000.00£ Then a week later I won 2,00.000.00 millions dollars,Thanks.Am very grateful for what your wonderful lottery numbers did for me, i now own my self a house and a car.Am free from debts.thank you for casting the lottery spell for me. I was trying to settle a job action and after the lottery winning spell you did, I received a settlement. I now have my own business. If you are at there looking for a real and a genie spell caster,search NO MORE. DR Odinani Owelle is there to help you to win and be rich forever.. Jeffrey Larry from LONDON....contact him on odinanisolutioncentre1@gmail.com or you can as well go to he's drodinanisolutioncentre.blogspot.com or odinanisolutioncentre@gmail.com

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  10. Good day to all viewer online am so happy sharing this great testimony on how i was checking for solution in the internet then miraculously i came Across Dr.Obudu the powerful herbalist that Cure Numerous individuals Herpes Simplex Virus,so I contacted him base on the testimonies I?m seeing about him on the internet, I was cured too by him, kindly contact him today through his email he can help you email ; drobuduherbalhome@gmail.com OR WHATSAPP +2349023428871 and so he can cure types of diseases like,HEPATITIS B,DIABETICS,CANCER,HPV,LOW SPERM CAM HIV/STDS FIBROSIS LOST OF WEIGHT .. all thank to you Dr obudu for your kindly help in my life
    .,.,.,.,

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  11. Hi Friends i am so glad to writing this article today to tell the world how Dr Emmanuel cured my HSV VIRUS,i have been detected with HSV-1 AND HSV-2 since five years ago, ever since then my life has been in complete bizarre and agony,i have used so many drugs that was prescribed to me by several doctors,but it didn't cure my HSV VIRUS neither did it reduce the pain,until a certain i was checking for solution in the internet,then miraculously came across Dr Emmanuel the powerful herbalist that cure numerous individuals HSV-1 AND HSV-2 INFECTION,then i contacted his whatsApp number at +2348140073965 or email: nativehealthclinic@gmail.com i explained everything to him and prepared a cure that cure my HSV-1 AND HSV-2 disease totally after receiving his herbal medicine, so my friends viewers why wait and be suffer when there is someone like Dr Emmanuel that can cure any disease HIV/ CANCER/ HEPATITIS B VIRUS, you can contact his via : nativehealthclinic@gmail.com. or WHATSAPP +2348140073965 GOD BLESS YOU ALL?

    ReplyDelete
  12. My Mark McDaniel from Ohio USA, I'm married and blessed with 2 kids (male). Myself and my wife provides for our kids and make sure they are happy. One weekend while I was home, I noticed my first son rude behavior. I talked to him to change his sudden behavior yet to no avail. I became so worried then I searched online for every possible help I could get. A saw a comment of someone parent who had similar experience then I talked to them via email.
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  13. I am sharing this testimony to partners suffering in their relationships because there is an enduring solution.
    My husband left me and our 3 kids for another woman after 8 years. I tried to be strong just for my kids but I could not control the pains that torment my heart because it was too painful to bear. I was hurt and confused didnt know what to do I needed a help, so i did a research on the internet and came across a site where I saw that Dr UDI a spellcaster not just a spellcaster but a powerful one indeed and he can help get lovers back. I contacted him and he did a special prayer and spells for me and told me to go cool off wish i eventally did. To my greatest surprises, few days later, my husband came back home. what i taught was imposible became possible because of DR UDI. That was how we Became reunited again and renewed our vows and believe me there lot of love, joy and peace in the family.
    You can as well contact DR UDI, a powerful spell-caster for solutions on his contact Ultimatespellhome@gmail.com or via Whats App: +2348051243538

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have been using this herbal cure remedy for 3 months now. So far, it has cured my HERPES, eliminated my COLD SORE, improved energy and metabolism, in the morning I feel recharged and I no longer feel sleepy after a meal. As for the scent, it does smell like motor oil but I chase it down with 100% Cranberry Juice 1tsp. twice a day AFTER a meal. I also experienced vivid dreams for about 5 days now it's diminishing to during the first 2 or 3 hours of sleep . contact dr Emmanuel: EMAIL: nativehealthclinic@gmail.com or call/whatsapp +2348140073965. you can get the cure from him and be free from all kinds of diseases. HIV/AIDS Diabtetes Cancer hepatitis 

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks for sharing this post, If you are looking for best neurosurgeon then, Brains Hospital, Bangalore provide some courses of treatment for Brain Tumors: Computer-aided surgery, Stereotactic radiosurgery, Radiotherapy, Awake brain surgery, Chemotherapy, Targeted drug therapy.

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  16. I'm so exited to share my testimonies about the Good Work of Dr.Ehiaguna who get me cured from herpes simplex virus (HSV1&2) with his herbs, I never thought that I will live on earth before the year runs out. I have been suffering from herpes, I had spent a lot of money going from one Hospital to another looking for way to get rid of this disease, the hospital have been my home everyday residence. Constant checks up have been my hobby not until this faithful day, I was searchingthrough the internet, I saw a testimony on how Dr. Ehiaguna helped someone in curing his herpes disease using his healingHerbs, quickly I copied his email just to give him a try I spoke to him, he told me that he is going to provide the herbal cure to me, which hedid, after i receive his herbs and i take it as instructed i was cure permanently from herpes my herpes disease was gone. so I decided to share my testimony, that nothing is impossible with God, God use a man to healed me. No matter what you are passing through, no matter how deadly the sickness is and no matter what the situation is God that did mine is still going to do yours, people suffering from herpes, brain tumor, kidney disease, pcos, AIDS, ALS,copd, asthma, athritis,herpes, Cancer,Hpv, any kind of disease, you can reach him now via ? Gmail address: drehiaguna@gmail.com or whatsapp +2348073908953 and you will be the next to testify of his great work.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I Never believed i was ever going to be HSV FREE again, DR.Ehiaguna has given me reasons to be happy, i was HSV positive for 2 years and all the means and medicine i tried for treatment was not helpful to me, but when i came on the Internet i saw great testimony about DR.Ehiaguna on how he was able to cure someone from HSV 2, this person said great things about this man, and advice we contact him for any Disease problem that DR.Ehiaguna can be of help, well i decided to give him a try, he requested for my information which i sent to him, and he told me he was going to prepare for me a healing portion, which he wanted me to take for days, and after which i should go back to the hospital for check up, well after taking all the treatment sent to me by DR.Ehiahuna , i went back to the Hospital for check up, and now i have been confirmed HSV NEGATIVE, friends you can reach DR.Ehiaguna on any treatment of any Disease cos i saw many testimony of different disease like, HEPATITIS,HIV AIDS,EPILEPSY, CANCER,CFS he is the one only one i can show you all up to, reach him on drehiaguna@gmail.com or whatsApp him now +2348073908953. quick contact him for help and you can just quickly drop your number on your first mail as i did for easily conversation

    ReplyDelete
  18. Never give up in life they all say no cure to HSV 2 which is a big lie I have pass through many process also i never believe there is really cure to HERPES until I meet Dr.Ehiaguna the doctor that have been helping many people for many years, I come across this doctor online when I was searching for cure online I found out about this man, and to my greatest surprise this man have the herbal medicine which I have been looking for years I explain my problem to him through the email I found on someone who testify about him also, Dr.Ehiaguna write me a reply and explain how the process work so after ordering for the medicine I got it within 4 days and I took it according to the way Dr.Ehiaguna instructed, I was so happy after two week I took the medicine there was very big change in my health when I was done with the process I go for test, I found out I am negative that was the day I have the tears of joy you can also get in contact with my doctor through his email now drehiaguna@gmail.com or you can also WhatsApp him +2348073908953. And He also have herbs medicine to cured the following diseases; eczema,urethra wart,chronic problems.Herpes, Cancer, Als,Hepatitis, Diabetes, HPV,Infections,ulcer  ETC

    ReplyDelete
  19. I am here to testify how great man called Dr_anuge helped me out with herbs and roots which he prepared for me in use of curing herpes. I takes his product (cure) for (14) days before I am to known I was totally cure out of it, and i promised him that i will testify my healing to the whole world about how he cured me which I am very happy I am doing now , dr_anuge also cure all kinds of diseases , HEPATITIS, A,B,C , CANCER, DIABETICS , FRIBLOD,ALL KINDS OF SPELL CAST ,and so much more , please you can get him contacted on his whatsapp or call on 2348164866838 He can also cure following virus
    (1).Herpes
    (2).Cancer
    (3).Hepatitis
    (4).Hiv/aids
    (5).Pcos
    (6).Fibroid

    ReplyDelete
  20. We all can help him share his great work so order people can see it plz OK., Dr Oyakhire has really made me so much believe in him by getting me cure with his herbal treatment. i really appreciate you Dr Oyakhire for bringing back happiness to my life again. thanks you so much friends that join me to thank Dr.Oyakhire for what he has actually done for me i pray to you all a good life and properity, email him at ...DrOyakhire7@gmail.com
    Whatsapp him +2349039208180
    He did cure those illness with herbal medicine!!!

    1 Cancer herbal medicine

    2 Hiv herbal medicine

    3 Low sperm count

    4 Barrenness

    5 Hvp herbal medicine

    6 Herpes herbal medicine

    7 Diabetes

    8 Love spell.

    9 Ex back

    Thanks Dr Oyakhire for your help in my life and family... and most especially to you Dr Oyakhire THANKS

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hello everyone out there, I'm here to give my testimony about a herbalist doctor who helped me. I was infected with HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS in 2011, I went to many hospitals to heal myself but there was no solution, so I was thinking how I can get a solution so that my body can be well. One day I was in the river thinking about where I can go to get a solution. so a lady walked towards me telling me why I'm so sad and I open everything by telling her my problem, she told me she could help me, she introduced me to a doctor who uses herbal medicines to cure the SIMPLEX HERPES VIRUS and gave me your email, so I sent you an email. He told me everything I had to do and also gave me instructions to take, which I followed correctly. Before I knew what was happening after two weeks, the SIMPLEX HERPES VIRUS that was in my body disappeared. therefore, if you also have a broken heart and need help, you can also send an email to {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com}or whatsapp him number: +2349038382931 or website is https://olihamiraclemedicine.webs.com/ Contact him today and he will have a testimony ... Good luck!
    Dr. OLIHA also cures:1. HIV / AIDS2. HERPES 1/23. CANCER4. ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease)5. Hepatitis B6. chronic pancreatic7. emphysema8. COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I started on COPD Herbal treatment from Ultimate Life Clinic, the treatment worked incredibly for my lungs condition. I used the herbal treatment for almost 4 months, it reversed my COPD. My severe shortness of breath, dry cough, chest tightness gradually disappeared. Reach Ultimate Life Clinic via their WEBSITE www.ultimatelifeclinic.com . I can breath much better and It feels comfortable!

    ReplyDelete