Wednesday, October 9, 2013

So in hindsight, I think it was an update


Sam has most certainly deteriorated quickly. So quickly, in fact, it happened over the course of one day. At 1:30 on Monday we were enjoying looking at the animals at the Avila Valley Barn, and by 2:30 Sam was puking. And yes, he slept and puked all day Tuesday. He was restless all last night. 

Today Sam slept all day again. He had a seizure this morning at 7, followed by vomiting up his steroids and Keppra. We gave Ativan for seizures since its a tiny dose that's easy to absorb, a suppository for nausea and vomiting, and topical steroids for the swelling in his brain caused by the tumors. He seized again at 2 so we gave more Ativan, but his breathing was so labored (I thought he might die right then) that John decided to call 911 while I called the hospice nurse. By the time paramedics got here the seizure was over and his breathing was better, so we did not go to the ER.

The thought of losing Sam is unbearable. But the thought of losing Sam in a panicked, chaotic, scary situation is well, scary. Awful. Terrible. I don't want his last moments to be full of fear and struggle.

The hospice nurse has pieced together a puzzle for us: restlessness, vomiting, lowered heart rate, sleeping all day...this is end of life stuff. We likely have days with Sam. We'd like to keep him at home if we can control his seizures and the vomiting (which keeps the meds in him). I want him to die in his sleep, surrounded by family, comfortable. 

As to visitors-we don't want any. As to updates in the near future-don't expect them. If you want to help-there's a care calendar that we will be asking friends to open up so that you can bring meals (we'll provide a link later). Sorry if that sounds harsh, but...there is no but. 



6 comments:

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  2. I am sending healing light and love. My 11 year old nephew was diagnosed with a brain tumor in September of 2012. My heart breaks for you and my support is coming your way from Shell Beach. I will think, pray, honor and send love in your direction everyday!!! Carolyn Jo

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  3. Sabrina,

    I can second your desire to want to use all your energy on Sam and your family right now. We will be here for you when you need us. Take care of yourself and hopefully those nearby will step in with meals and in-person care. Just know that there is a world of people out here who have your back.

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  4. http://www.mealtrain.com/?id=mwgh8pu24bgt

    Friends,
    So many people have asked what they can do to help the Jeffers fammily during this impossible time.
    At this moment, the Jeffers ask for small, simple vegetarian meals (mac n cheese, pizza, cheese enchiladas, etc.) with contributions spaced a few days apart. There is not much room in the refrigerator for lots of leftovers.

    The family has asked NOT to have visitors at this time. When you bring a meal, please leave it in the cooler on the doorstep. DO NOT knock on the door or ring the bell, as any disruptions are difficult for Sam. Using disposable or Gladware containers would be helpful so that they don't have to track anyone down to return kitchenware.

    Please feel free to forward this email.

    Thanks to this wonderful community that continues to support the Jeffers so well.

    Please use the following link to access the Meal Train Plus for The Jeffers.

    http://www.mealtrain.com?id=mwgh8pu24bgt

    Forward this email to include more friends.

    On behalf of The Jeffers, Thank You!

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  6. Laura KruleweckiOctober 11, 2013 at 7:53 AM
    our thoughts are with you Sabrina, your baby...all of you. This is just wrong. It's a rip-off. It's not fair. It could be any one of us and our baby...but its you and your baby. It's just not right. I hate cancer. I know you've lost so much already. It's not fair to Sammy. It's not fair to any of you. It's just not acceptable.Our thoughts are with you... laura krulewecki

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